packed and ready

its sunday afternoon.

the final game just started.

my bags are packed and i just took a shower.

my apologies, this post will be a bit scattered seeing as that is currently how my brain is.

funny/ironic thing that happened last night:

i learned that there is always a first for everything. even on my last night. i forgot my keys for the first time all semester and was locked out of my house. luckily my family was home and let me in. but it made for a good joke for a while.

so i'm flying out tonight, arriving in nj tomorrow morning and then boston in the afternoon.

stopping at panera on the way home for lunch.

life is wonderful.

i feel good about leaving. i'm ready for a break. as much as i love living in lima, it is emotionally draining. my brain is constantly working overtime to understand and communicate. don't get me wrong, i'm not complaining. i love it. i love the challenge. but i am really glad to see my family and be in a place that is familiar. someplace where i don't have to work so hard. lima is starting to become like that. but it takes time. time that i'm willing to spend because it is worth the effort. i really do believe that. as much as i've struggled this semester i don't think i would change anything. not to say that i don't want to do things differently next semester, because i do. i'm very excited about next semester. i'm excited about taking real classes, about continuing friendships, about traveling. it'll be good. so as happy as i am to go home, i am also excited about returning. this loud, dirty, confusing, friendly, cloudy, exciting city has made its way into my heart. its becoming a part of me.

i guess now would be an appropriate time for a list.

i know you all love my lists. =)

things i'm excited to do while i'm home:

panera

bertucci's

riverview

abbq

beach

west church

church softball games

punch on the mall

family

my bed

my ceiling fan

bagels

mom's pizza

out for breakfast with dee

friends

milk

chocolate frappes from richardson's

peppermint stick ice cream with chocolate jimmies

driving

swimming

lamb and spaghetti

apple-grape-raspberry juice

corn on the cob

things i'll miss about lima while i'm away:

my family

my friends

speaking spanish

la católica

marion and melvin

maní confitado

yogurt

micro rides

deporte y vida

the sol

madre natura

churros

chicha morada

inca kola

world cup craziness

the lists are a little unbalanced. oh well.

the house currently smells a bit smoky. want to know why? we're having a parrillada (barbecue-cookout-type deal)! i'm pumped.

alright. thats all for now.

all set to travel - crosswords and canchita.

(as i was packing up i was wearing my sunglasses, getting ready for the northern sunshine.)

be here now.

well hello and happy wednesday to you all. i'm currently enjoying my first full day of summer vacation. i took my last exam yesterday morning which means that i am officially a senior in college. when did that happen?

as my first semester here in peru is coming to a close i've been pretty busy finishing things up and saying goodbyes and such. last night i went over to caitlyn's house to say goodbye. she left this morning to fly back to the states. it was sad. caitlyn, (i know you'll read this eventually) thanks for being such a good friend. i appreciate your rationality and ability to help calm me down when i got overwhelmed. you're great and i can't wait to see you again!

last week we had our final dinner with all the ciee students. that was fun. and absolutely delicious. a very nice all you can eat buffet. note to self - don't eat anything the day of this dinner next semester in order to fully enjoy the experience. then there was the goodbye cocktail with students and families. that was also nice, but not on the food scale. just on the company and conversations scale. it made me think of the first time we all met our families and how nervous we were. or maybe it was just me who was super nervous. but anyhow i can remember feeling completely awkward and how we were going through those preliminary get-to-know-you questions. wow. i've come a long way since then. in many ways.

me with my parents =)

laura and i

laura, caitlyn and i in our católica sweatshirts.

last sunday night caitlyn, amelia, laura and aprill came over to my house for a little lonchecito, a small dinner type thing. we had empanadas, apple pie and hot chocolate. and then we had some good conversations about all sorts of things ranging from boys, to leaving, to friends to crazy host families. i've really been so blessed by my friendships here. sometimes i get discouraged but i should really learn to focus on the good things. sometimes i get frustrated but then i remember that things don't always have to be easy.

so my first semester is quickly coming to a close. i leave in just four days. and my remaining days are quickly filling up with last minute shopping and hanging out with friends to say goodbye. i'm starting to feel a bit overwhelmed, but i'm just trying to take it slow, soak it all in and really enjoy it. i'm trying not to focus on what i'm going to do when i get home because i want to be here now (sound familiar to anyone?)

and currently being here now means watching the spain-germany game. i'm really hoping that spain can pull it off. i was pretty disappointed to see south america get ousted by the netherlands yesterday. maybe next time.

alright, time to wrap it up. my mind is racing on a roller coaster of thoughts and emotions. maybe i'll take a nap. probably will.

(more) little letters

dear hillary clinton,

please leave lima so that we can open up javier prado once again and i don't have to go over the river and through the woods to get to la católica. (from june 8th)

dear lima,

i've really come to love you.

but i think that a nice little 4 week break will do us some good.

dear kraps,

despite your unfortunate name, i think i like you better than ritz.

dear rebecca,

happy birthday! (from june 29th)

dear ferrin lot,

i can not wait to behold your smooth, flat, pothole-less freshly-paved beauty.

dear bennet,

i can not wait to go swimming. every. single. day.

dear corn in daddy's garden,

please please please grow so that i can enjoy you when i'm home.

dear mom,

i would love you forever and ever if you had a chocolate chip bagel in the house when i get home. preferably from bagel world.

dear abby,

why do you spend your time writing blog entries when you have work to do and finals to study for?

dear prof. quezada,

i am still upset that you told us to come in at 8:30 am and then did not show up for class.

dear deer #14,

i saw you sneak up on me the other day.

don't think you can fool me.

dear elan at CET,

thank you for helping me fix my gordon email.

i felt lost and empty without it.

dear God,

i'm sorry that i'm so stubborn and it takes me a long time to realize things.

thank you for not giving up on me and loving me anyways.

dear contact solution,

why are you so stinkin' expensive here in peru?

dear lit final,

ya fuiste.

dear body,

please get better.

i hate blowing my nose every five minutes.

dear anyone who can answer,

why have i never seen a peruvian blow their nose in public?

is there some sort of social norm that i'm unaware of?

dear pandora,

i wish you would work in peru.

dear mommy's little honda civic,

i am so looking forward to cruising around blasting some good tunes.

dear sarah,

while you're home i've decided that we'll go to the beach every single day.

dear west church,

i've really really missed you.

dear richardson's farm,

get those cows ready because i'm gonna be drinking a lot of milk while i'm home.

dear juan carlos,

sorry i didn't go to our last class on wednesday.

dear norma and elisabet,

you are beautiful women that i admire very much.

dear teachers at deporte y vida in oasis,

you are all saints.

dear cute little puppy tarzan,

where have you been recently?

dear summer,

i can't wait to bask in your glory.

Princess Abby

So I thought I would share some links with you. Things that I enjoy looking at and that I find funny.

My host brother Mario informed me of this yesterday at breakfast:

Princess Abby

Awesomeness

Disney Channel Stars

Best Cat Jump Ever

Faces in Places

Raptor Kitty

KITTENS!

I think this is a totally cool concept: Totally Looks Like!

I wish I could think of something cool to do like THIS

Enjoy!!

Faithful to me

Faithful to Me

[Jennifer Knapp]

All the chistles I've dulled carving idols of stone
That have crumbled like sand 'neath the waves.
I've recklessly built all my dreams in the sand just to watch, them all wash away.

Through another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile
To one who sees past all I see.
And reaching out my weary hand I pray that you'd understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me.

All the pennies I've wasted in my wishing well
I have thrown like stones to the sea.
I have cast my lots, dropped my guard, searched aimlessly for a faith
To be faithful to me.

Through another day, another trial, another chance to reconcile
To one who sees past all I see.
And reaching out my weary hand I pray that you'd understand
You're the only one who's faithful to me.
You're the only one who's faithful to me.

Faltan dos semanas

Faltan dos semanas.

Two weeks left.

I know that I say this every single time, but I really can't believe that I'll be leaving in two weeks. So classes ended this past week and now we enter into two weeks of exams. I have my lit exam on Thursday the 1st and my music exam on Tuesday the 6th. Then I'll be flying back to Boston on the 11th. Which also happens to be the last day of the World Cup. I wonder who will be playing? I'm watching the Argentina-Mexico game right now and hoping that Mexico can pull it off. We'll see. I can just imagine the kids down at la Casa gathered in the TV room watching the game right now! I wish I was there with them!!

Last week was fun! On Tuesday Amelia and I went out for lunch with Nora and Gera - two girls from CBU. We ate at Crepes & Waffles. So delicious. After eating I walked back to la Católica with Amelia and Gera. Amelia had class so Gera and I went to the CBU prayer meeting. It was really good, we actually had some discussion. Which is exactly what I feel like I've been lacking recently - talking about and discussing issues of faith with other believers. So that was good. Then after Amelia's class we went back to my house and made brownies!! With the baker's chocolate that my mommy sent down in my package. We doubled the batch so that I could have one pan for my family and one pan for CBU on Thursday. On the ones for CBU we melted peppermint patties. It took a lot of self control not to eat them all before Thursday. So then we had our last CBU meeting of the semester on Thursday. We played a bunch of silly games, ate some food and just hung out. It was a lot of fun! I feel so blessed to have found this group of friends on campus. And I'm going to miss them all while I'm back home for four weeks.

On Friday Laura and I went to volunteering and we worked on the mural. Its coming along pretty well. We're almost finished with the nature scene and then we'll start painting a scene of the volcano Misti thats in the city of Arequipa. After that I got home, ate lunch and made plans with Caitlyn and Dyago to go and see Toy Story 3 in 3D. Would you believe me if I told you that I had never seen a movie in 3D before Friday night? Well believe it. It was a fun time. Then on Saturday Laura and Caitlyn came over to watch the US-Ghana game. Too bad US is out. Oh and update: Argentina beat Mexico 3-1. So sad, I was really rooting for Mexico. So yeah, we watched the game then went to a café in Barranco for lunch. I got some pretty good (and super expensive) pasta. Then we split churros for dessert. Oh my goodness gracious. Heavenly. With a dish of hot chocolate sauce. Wow. That was the best part. Then we went back to my house to do some homework and Dyago came over and I attempted to help him with his French homework. Attempted being the key word. It's hard to explain French in a mix of Spanish and English. The three languages were getting all jumbled in my head and all coming out at once. Which was making me confused and him even more confused.

On Sunday I just chilled around in my room, chatted with Laura and Caitlyn on Skype and then we decided to have a study party at Caitlyn's house. So thats where I currently am - sitting on Caitlyn's bed as she and Laura study for their lit final that they have in the morning tomorrow. So I'll be here for a while. We will probably end up making the Annie's mac and cheese that my best friend Sarah sent down with me. I'm pretty excited about it.

Me, Amelia and Angie at the last CBU meeting

Amelia, Me, Nora and Gera at Crepes&Waffles

Recently I've been doing some thinking about my relationship with God. I'm trying to learn to lean on Him and depend on Him, to find my worth and joy in Him and Him alone. Here is a song that really sums up all my current thoughts:

Call Me Beautiful

[Ginny Owens]

I've been waiting
For a hero who's brave and strong-
Someone to love me,
Someone to tell me I belong,
So I pretend I'm satisfied,
And I stand watching on the sidelines,
Till You pull me into the light
And say, "It's Your turn now,
Welcome to your life!"

And You call me beautiful,
And say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys to unlock my soul
Oh You call me beautiful

There's a smile on my face,
And a brand new light in my eyes,
It's a new day,
And I've never felt so alive-
I feel as if I could conquer anything,
Oh thats what Your love has done for me,
And now all I want to be,
Is everything You want me to be-

And You call me beautiful,
And say You've loved me all along,
And You've always held the keys
To unlock my soul, But I didn't know-
Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed,
Things will be much different,
Now that I know
You call me beautiful

The story is better than I could dream after all,
Now this is reality
To know You and to hear You call me beautiful
Call me beautiful-
Now I can finally start to live,
Take those chances I have missed,
Things will be much different,
Now that I know-
Now that I know
You call me beautiful

Minkando

I'm back from my trip to Ayacucho this weekend! I had a great time!

So Thursday night we all met up at the bus station and our bus left Lima around 9:30 pm. The seats were really comfortable and they showed the movie The Ugly Truth, but I slept instead of watching the movie. The bus ride started off on a good note when one of our trip coordinators passed out besos de moza (a chocolate covered marshmellow-type thing with a cookie - so sort of like a s'more) to everyone. So I slept for most of the ride. Although I woke up about every hour. We arrived in the city of Huamanga around 8 on Friday morning. From there we got into a van to drive to Vinchos. For any of you that don't know Peru suffered from terrorism for many years and Ayacucho was one of the areas most affected and Vinchos was hit especially hard. We arrived and unloaded the vans, got our t-shirts and did some preparation for the first session. We went around to some of the schools and announced that we would be waiting for the kids at 3 in the Plaza de Armas to do some activities and play! Then we ate lunch and headed out to the plaza to wait for the kids!

our t-shirts

Beba

The kids get split into three different groups - nido (3-5), primaria (6-8), y limbo (9+). I was working with the little kiddos with my friend Yazeirys, Milagros and Rafaella. We didn't have too many kids that actually belonged in nido, but we ended up with about 10 in all. We sang some songs, did crafts and talked about friends and friendship. It was a little hard to keep everyone focused and get the point across but overall it worked out well. We were with the kids for about 2 hours or so. After finishing everything up we just played around with them for a while. Then we moved our mattresses from the closet where they are stored in one building to the place where we were sleeping. After that we had dinner and then a debrief/time of reflection about the day. Then most of the group went for a hike (at 10 pm!) but I chose to go to bed instead.

Saturday we were up around 7. We ate breakfast and quickly prepared materials for the second session. At 9:30 we started our second session with the kids. The theme for Saturday was family and roles within the family. We had all the kids draw a picture of their family and friends then we posted them all on a big piece of paper to make a mural. They really enjoyed doing that. Then we had printed out pictures of different family members and made cards to play memory with them. The older kids that were hanging around our group really liked that game. Our last project was making a card with their handprint to give to someone in their family. Many of the kids said that they were going to give it to their Mom. How sweet.

Brothers walking down to the river

After all the groups had finished we all walked down to the river with the kids. Some of them (and some of us volunteers - not including me) went swimming. It was fun to hang out with them and just have some FUN! After swimming we packed up, cleaned up, returned the mattresses and had lunch. Then we were off! We drove back to Huamanga and arrived around 4:30. We then got a chance to do some exploring! We went to an artisan market and a food market. I bought some pan wawa (typical bread from Ayacucho in the shape of a baby) to bring back to my family. Then we all ate dinner at a pizzeria. The pizza was REALLY GOOD. Still not as good as Mom's. After dinner the coordinators had a "surprise" for us. They took us to this bar type place with some live music. Some of the others and I decided to head to a little café with a view of the plaza instead. Much better choice for me. I really enjoyed getting to know some of the other people on the trip. I found out that one of the girls Irene lives like a block away from me! Small world!

Craig, Rafaella, Me, John and Yazeirys

Our bus left at 9:45ish on Saturday night and we arrived in Lima around 7 am this morning. I got home around 7:45 and had to wake up Alfredo with the door bell because the deadbolt lock was on the door and I couldn't get in! So I felt bad, but I had to do it. Then I slept for another few hours, woke up, had breakfast and took a shower. Then my family arrived (I'm not quite sure where they were) and started preparing for a parrillada (barbecue!) It took Mario a while to light the grill, but after he got it going the whole house smelled delicious!!! And it tasted delicious as well. We didn't end up eating till like 4. Now I'm in my room, updating my blog (obviously) and trying to call home to talk with my family.

So its been a good weekend. Overall I really enjoyed the trip, although there were some frustrating moments. The whole time I just felt like something was missing. And then I realized what it was: sorry to get a little cheesy, wait no, I take back that apology. I'm not going to apologize. Jesus was missing. Plain and simple. The work that Minkando does is great, but the group dynamics and sometimes the leaders were a bit frustrating. I guess I've just had such good examples of what leadership in this type of setting looks like, and I even have experience in leading and I could tell that some things just weren't being done right. If given the opportunity I think I'd go on the trip again, for the kids. And to be an example.

Another thing that I was thinking about this week is my accent in Spanish. Many people say that I speak Spanish very well, which is quite flattering but I never completely believe them. I still stumble over simple words or verb conjugations. And I still have the "gringo" accent sometimes. My friend Milagros assured me that its ok to have an accent. She was like "when I speak in English I have an accent. I can't avoid it." Which got me thinking, of course I'm going to have an accent and thats ok. Why am I so desperate to appear to be something I'm not? Or appear to not be something that I am? I think that deep down inside I'm just longing for acceptance. I want to belong, to fit in. But I'm slowly learning that I can belong and be accepted just as I am. People are teaching me that. Beautiful wonderful people who have let me into their lives. People who are praying for me, people who after knowing me for only a week or two emailed me to wish me a happy birthday, people who are patient with me when I am struggling to get my thoughts across, people who put up with my stubbornness, people who make sure that I make it home safely at night, people who send me colored pictures, people who make time to skype with me, people who laugh with me, people who help me find books in the library, and the list goes on and on. And above all is my Heavenly Father who loves me and accepts me every single day despite my lack of appreciation.

So these are some thoughts that I've come across lately. I can hardly believe that I'll be home in just three weeks! That is craziness! Also, I told my host mom today that I'm going to stay another semester and that I'd like to stay here. She was surprised, but seemed happy about it. Yay!

Happy Father's Day Poppy!

Thanks for your love, guidance and example.

I love you so very much and please know that

I'll always be your Tweety.